It started a couple of hours ago. We went to the Shangai Circus at Navy Pier with a friend and her daughter. The kids were having so much fun that for a minute I was able not to think about it. And then I started to feel the pain. It was like the other two times. I knew. Sure enough, I checked and there was the blood. We are back home now, I have my stash of gossip magazines, starting with my Spanish Hola, I have a blanket, but my bed has been taken by a two year old. I'll curl up in there when he goes to take his bath. I'm not hungry, or thirsty, or even tired. But I don't have any energy left. My head is about to explode. I'm sad beyond even my understanding.
Y mañana será otro día, and hopefully I will have some time to rest. But I have to start my quest for an answer, for a solution. I need to know why, and I need to know how to fix it. And if we can't fix it, I need to know that, too. I'm sure I'll have to go to the doctor tomorrow, and I will try to get an appointment with the best specialist in Chicago on RPL. She runs a clinic at the University of Chicago. That's a start. This is an end.
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