Waiting

And this wait is like a torture inflicted by a sadistic power... "Why?" You cannot help asking yourself. "Why me?" And that's a dangerous road. I would have crashed my car this morning, driving away from my doctors office. They drawn blood again, I hopefully will have the results by tomorrow. Thanks to that toddler who was sitting in the back of my car I kept driving through my tears instead of driving into the lake. I don't think I have ever felt this devastated. This unfulfilled. Little L is the only person that can make me smile right now. I only want his hugs. And his love will make me strong enough to stand this wait. This horrible wait.