Short

The rayita is gone. I had a miscarriage yesterday, and it feels awful. I spent my morning crying, then trying not to cry at the doctors office, and then crying again. Then, when we went back home, we all had a three hour long nap. Sleeping part of it off was a good idea. I spent the rest of the day resting around, with Husband a baby L at home with me. Husband is also sad, it was a loss for the three of us. I know we only knew for a few days, but we were already making all kind of plans, and we were elated I was finally pregnant, after seven months of trying... They told me we can try again after my next period, and that's exactly what we plan to do. After a three day break I wen back to Fertility Friend. I knew it would be difficult, but the sooner the better. Now I'm battling with the idea of taking a shower, I hate to see all the blood, but I'll have to do it eventually, and my pain (the physical part of it) may even go away for a little bit. It feels weird, like a stronger period. Talking or writing about it also feels weird, but I have found that talking about it helps me. Most people don't, and I'm guessing that talking about it can help other people too. Part of the shock happens because we don't know enough about it. And there is nothing to be ashamed of, it's part of a process. A very, very sad part. I know I'll keep crying at times, but I'm trying to get better fast for Little L's sake. Going back to normal may help. It was a short patch of hope and happiness, and now we need to mourn it for a little while.