Fed up

I'm mad. At myself. A couple of days ago I took a random pregnancy test. Just because. Of course it was negative. But a little nausea and a little sleepiness were enough to trigger my hopes. Apparently, and according to my temperatures and my chart, I haven't ovulated yet. Neither I did last month. I can believe that, or blame it on the lack of opportunities. Or think that maybe I'm not ovulating because of some happy reason... But that's not happening, and I will be disappointed once again. Little L sees babies and his face lights up... So does mine. When I see his.