Para empezar...

After five months trying, last week I decided to try a scar tissue massage to see if we could get things going. I won't know if it worked or not for a few weeks, but Joe, the massage therapist, suggested that I should start writing a journal. I will probably try an old fashion version as well, but I thought that a blog version could work too, and maybe, someday, help other moms. The last months of my first pregnancy were very difficult, and I had a horrible delivery experience, which ended in a C-Section. Maybe one day I will tell that story here. Not today. I have spent the last year an a half educating myself about VBAC, going to ICAN meetings, and trying to heal from my wounds, which were deep enough for me to need therapy. Thanks to that, my husband, and beautiful Baby L, I'm more than ready to start the journey again. But this time it will be different. I won't be naive anymore. I will know a little bit more than the last time. I will be scared, and probably not in my little pink cloud, but I decided Sunday that there are different kinds of clouds, and maybe I can pick another color. My OB (carefully picked after interviewing a bunch of providers) told me to expect a worst case scenario. I have decided I won't. If I do, I won't get pregnant, which is the first step towards a VBAC. As is not taking your doctor's orders as if she is some kind of god. She is not.