Funny

I am still pregnant, which is weird, since the last three times I didn't know for long... I am feeling better, I didn't have any pain yesterday. I tried not to move around too much. I did stuff, like grading, comfortably sitting in my bed. The doctor hasn't said anything about resting, but I know that in Spain I would be put at least at partial rest, and I have noticed that the pain comes when I am very active. It seems wise to take it easy.
This morning I had a hilarious awakening. We had to tell our toddler that there is a baby in my tummy, since he is extremely active and has a thing for jumping onto my belly. He climbed into my bed this morning and told me: "Baby out, me in", while he tried to enter my tummy through my navel. It was extremely funny, since he is 32 months old, and rather big for his age. Daddy took his measurements and we decided he wouldn't fit, which seemed to convince him. i guess we will have more humorous moments as the pregnancy progresses. And I will keep posting them here.

Official +

I had blood work done today, and I'm officially pregnant. Not too pregnant, but it's early, so we wouldn't expect higher levels. hCG is at 14.9 (I love the accuracy). Progesterone is at 12. I have to go back in one week to have the test repeated, and have my thyroid checked again, so they can adjust my medication. I loved the fact that I am not being treated as an ignorant being who couldn't understand medical terms. I really appreciate having all the data to the point, and getting answers to any questions I may have. My cramps are getting better, which is reassuring, because they are not normal, as I found out today. But they are definitely gone when I am resting, so I may have to take it easy. I will, as much as I need to. I want this baby.
I agreed with my therapist that I would try to be in a state of cautious joy. I think I am achieving it, but I cannot avoid thinking of my pregnancy as my baby. And even though I know there are no ears yet, I talk to hr, and I whisper: 'Quédate, bebé, quédate", as in a ritual chant. I hope he or she does.

Still there...

Although I have an appointment tomorrow to have my blood drawn, I couldn't resist, and took another HPT this morning. The line was still there. I had a very busy morning, and now I am feeling some abdominal pain. Which is usually a bad sign. I'll wait until tomorrow.
On the blue line HPTs... I have to say that I still use them. When I was pregnant with Little L, I tried digital first. They kept coming negative. Then I tried the pink ones. They were still negative. And I finally tried the e.p.t. old fashioned ones... And of course, they worked. I was almost seven weeks pregnant by then. I know, I know, it was kind of late. But there he is, napping in the living room.
In any case, today was a happy day, because my good friend A gave birth to her beautiful daughter. Has the fact that you are now officially a mom kicked in yet? Happy thoughts from Chicago to NJ.

A shadow

Is a shadow a line? Does it count? Of course, I couldn't wait and I did a home pregnancy test this morning. And there was a little blue vertical shadow. Or so I thought. Although dear poor husband, whom I got out of bed at 7 to check it, said that he knew what I was talking about. Which, I guess, in sleepy husbandy means that he also saw it. If I understand well, a shadow would mean a slight presence on hCG. Which is a positive. Faint positive. Isn't it? Perfectly understandable, considering that I am 11 days post ovulation.
I called the office, and we are doing blood work on Friday. I will know for Friday afternoon. I don't have any symptoms, though. I'm just a little tired. And yes, my chin hair grew up. Which usually is a pretty good predictor. Chicago is covered in snow, the commute is nightmarish at best due to the CTA cuts (those are entitled to a whole post in my other blog), but I am walking around as happy as I can be. At least for today. We'll see what tomorrow brings.

Weird dream

I don't usually remember my dreams, although I don't doubt that I have them, like everyone else. It gets worse as I age. When I was younger I was able to remember plenty of them, most pleasant, some unsettling. But nowadays, I could count with the fingers of a hand how many I remember in a year. But last night's was so vivid that it woke me up. I was at a doctor's office. The doctor was young and blond, she looked nice. She was going to perform some kind of medical procedure or test, gynecological, of course. For some reason she couldn't find a bed or stretcher in her facility, so we mysteriously transferred to a private facility, much nicer. I remember asking her what would happen if I were pregnant. She then infused my vagina with a liquid that soon settled, becoming solid. Somehow, through this material, she was able to tell if there was a heartbeat way before home pregnancy test can come back positive. Of course, she said I was pregnant, but that she was going to proceed with whatever she was going to do, no matter what. I remember some struggling, and then I woke up, startled to say the least.
Didn't I say it was weird? And no, just because a dream said so I don;t think I am pregnant. It could be, but it is too soon to know. And I am actually having pretty bad abdominal pain as I write. It could be implantation pain, but most likely it's due to the progesterone, since I remember something similar from last month. But, my it be a way for my organism to tell me that I shouldn't feel pushed by a doctor to try experimental things? I may call Dr. S tomorrow to ask about the pain. And I will try not to think too much about the dream. Or the hopes.

After the hiatus

It's been a while since I last posted, but I didn't have any news of any kind. This is the first cycle we are really trying, and the OPK gave me positive reading on Friday. If we don't get pregnant this month, it will not be because we didn't try. So, now that I am done with the OPKs for at least fifteen days, I have to start the progesterone tomorrow. and I hate the thing. I forget it. I don't like popping orange little balls in my vagina. They turn all my underwear orange. They make my stomach upset, and give me gas problems way worse than the ones I had during my pregnancy. But I guess I have to keep doing it. I am not ready to lose another baby. This time it has to be ok.
Meanwhile, we are planning a trip to Mexico. In March. Supposedly I cannot travel until the fifteenth week, but I don't really care. I will ask. If it increases my chance of miscarrying, I will not go. But if they are just scared of me having any trouble in a foreign country without fancy American hospitals, I'm going. After all, I don't think I could be treated worse than I have been here until I found Dr S. And after a loooooong year, I really need a break. A palm tree. That's all I am asking for.
We'll see. About everything. Now to the "I think I have all kinds of pregnancy symptoms". I will test in ten days. Hopefully then, I will have a happy post.

This is getting very nasty

We had our last appointment with doctor S on Christmas Eve. We had started trying before we got her permission, on Sunday, but I thought that after staying in Chicago over Christmas, a very hard first for us, just to try to get pregnant, I should give it a shot. According to Fertility Friend our chances are good. The results from the uterine lining biopsy came back normal, but doctor S thought it may be maturing a little slowly, so she prescribed progesterone. I thought this would be taken by mouth, or injected... Of course not, you have to insert it vaginally, behind your cervix. Twice a day. In my case, with my tiny little fingers, which were never very practical even for masturbation, not to talk about placing little tiny orange balls behind a piece of myself... And now I say, "ho, ho, ho,ho...". What did Santa bring? 60 little round orange pills. I just inserted the first one, and it is nasty. Not easy. And my vagina feels funny. I hope that at least it will work...I have to start putting it in three days after the LH surge, and until my period starts again, or until the tenth week of pregnancy. I have some long months ahead of me...
Reviewing my daily routine, now that I have to teach at 8 am... I wake up at 6 so I can take the levothyroxine, so I can have breakfast one hour later at 7 so I can run to the University on time.While I wait to eat, I pop a little pill into my vagina. Repeat at night, followed by the prenatal vitamin. Ho, ho, ho, ho!!!!