Clear... and clearly not.

It's been a long time, but baby is still in there, happily bouncing around. The pregnancy is being uneventful so far, other than the horrible round ligament pain I have been having for the last month. It's bad, and it's new, I didn't feel anything of the kind during my first pregnancy. It got so bad that one day three weeks ago I ended up in the ER just to make sure baby was fine. Of course I was seen by a twelve year old resident, which wasn't very reassuring. She also told us that baby was a girl. But of course she was twelve, and we were very surprised to find out this week during my twenty week ultrasound that it's actually a boy. I didn't have a preference, so I'm equally happy. At least we hadn't picked a name yet. Which is still the case. With our first, we knew even before i got pregnant that he would be named Lucas. But now we are totally lost. It's not that easy, because we want something short that is pronounced more or less the same in English and in Spanish. We have a short list, and hopefully we will have a pick in the next weeks.

Now that I have been assured that my baby by is fine, and that they didn't see any abnormalities during the ultrasound, it's time to start thinking about the birth itself. I have already booked a doula, and I will get several birthing books this week. I'm going to skip the birthing classes because they were a money waste the first time around. Instead i will start doing prenatal yoga after Christmas. I'm 19 w 5 d, so I think it' time to start thinking positively about that VBAC I want to have. No, I'm not being delusional, I'm being positive and instilling confidence in myself. Kick, kick. Baby agrees with me :)

14w, 2d

I finally feel officially pregnant. Until this week, I was seeing a recurrent pregnancy loss specialist who didn't do any prenatal testing, only ultrasounds to make sure that the baby was fine and where he/she is supposed to be. But on Tuesday I transferred to Dr H, who will be my OB and hopefully will deliver the baby. We are far from being out of the whole high risk loop due to the chromosomal traslocation and my previous preeclampsia. She is an MFM, and both she and her midwife are lovely, nice, caring, joyful women, who totally made me feel like I'm being taken care of. Which is something I haven't felt often in this country. Since they work at UIC I feel that my chances of a VBAC are better. They said that so far, there is nothing that indicates against a trial of labor. I am realistic, and they are encouraging, which should be a better mix than we had the first time around.
I have already contacted a doula, and I hope to meet her in the next couple of weeks so we can see whether we connect or not. If we do, I will be able to check something else off my list. Now I need to find prenatal yoga classes. I hate exercising, but I'm sure I will feel better if I do it, and my back will be in better shape.
I can tell that I am way happier than I have been in the last few weeks. I guess I was scared. I still am, and I will be until I have this baby in my arms. My next milestone is the 20 week level 2 ultrasound. After that, comes birth in my paranoid book. But I am enjoying it now, to such a point of relaxation that I fell asleep three times in the bus or train this week. That's not me. And that elates me.